My Name is Amber and I'm as Red as this Background

Am01 from SheSheila on Vimeo.

I knew they were working on this and I know you have all seen most of these pictures, but the fact there is a video of me like this in cyberspace is a head trip. I'm extremely embarrassed an I know my blog will get more hits than the video, but still.

My Name is Amber and I'm a Party Girl

Tonight's challenge was passed successfully. There was a party at one of the fraternities without about 100 people there. I simply had to go in get a cup, drink a beer, and leave. It was easy. I was more nervous than at the mall because being read by frat guys is more dangerous and of those 100 people at least a few of them would know me from class, but fortunately drunk college guys are not the most discerning. I went with Ms. Susan as well as Ms. Amanda and Ms. Heather. I was given the choice of staying for more free beers, but I decided to leave well enough alone.

My Name is Amber and I Shopped Til I Dropped

I have a lot of questions to answer now...and I will, but not tonight. Evidently, I haven't been working as hard as I should be at passing and the result was a trip to the mall for some shopping. When I found out I was naturally a bit terrified and I begged not to have to wear a dress or skirt. I found out that I can draw plenty of attention without one as I had to wear my reddest wig, a polka dot top, and heels. In some places I passed, in most places I passed at first sight, but couldn't survive an interaction. It was all kind of embarrassing although I guess it really shouldn't be. I'll be practicing a lot more tomorrow.

My Name is Amber and I'm Becoming More Feminine

There's a good view of my new boobs for those of you who were wondering. I spend an awful big part of the day wearing them. It's been a very difficult week. Every time I turn around there's something to do, something to practice, something I need to do to feminize myself more and more. I've got in trouble a lot this week. I wore a thin white t-shirt yesterday and got in trouble for not wearing a bra when a bra would have been instantly visible.

You know that one of the things that started this was my tendency to be a player. Ms. Susan has already arranged it for me to run into one of the girls I cheated on her with while I was in a dress. She didn't recognize me, but I wanted the ground to swallow me hole. With all this going on, it can be very hard to feel like a man. Someb0dy asked about the Material Girl costume---yes I was extremely embarrassed. Nobody , but Cindy and I were in costume.

My Name is Amber and I'm a Bridesmaid

Wendy is beyond evil. She is getting married in April and today she asked the three of us to be three of her 7 bridesmaids. When I told her that April was a long way off and that I didn't intend to be dressing this way for almost another year she just patted my arm and said "I know". When I told her that I may never be able to pass that well, she guaranteed me I would. She told me she needed a beautiful redheaded bridesmaid and when I told her my hair wasn't actually red, she just laughed. Why would you want three guys you don't even know that well as bridesmaids? This is going to be so humiliating. I really felt sick to my stomach when I opened the card and saw what she intended us to do, but I know that I can't refuse. There's no way Ms. Susan would allow that. Don't bridesmaid's dress the bride?

My Name is Amber and I My Bra Overflows

Well my breast forms did come and they are actually changing the way I type. When Ms. Susan saw them she squealed like she had won the lottery and they haven't left my chest yet. It was actually very hard to sleep last night as I was very aware of them. You'll be seeing pictures soon. I guess these pictures show how flat I was before with a padded bra and no padding.

Cindy is home now and we are all supposed to meet the woman who does their hair at lunch. I know idea why I'm supposed to be there as I have only met her once. I get the feeling that this is not going to be something that I like, but there really isn't much that I can do about it really. It also means going out to lunch in public. The girls want a big all sissy photo shoot soon as well.

I understand that I will be expected to go to class as a girl in the Fall. I will have some definite problems with that and I am going to attempt to put my foot down. It's kind of scary to think that they intend to keep me dressing into Fall though I know they're thinking years not weeks.

My Name is Amber and I Have Big Boobs

Well, I guess I don't exactly yet, but I got a message that they tried to deliver them today, but that I have to sign for them. I don't know why this has me so nervous. I've stuffed my bra out to a bigger size then my forms before, but somehow this seems like a very major step for me. I don't know. Am I being crazy?

I also have to go out in public today. It's just a trip to the drug store for pantyhose and presson nails. I go through so many pantyhose--supposedly a lot more than either Cindy or Jill did when they were novices. Ms. Susan says that to encourage me to keep working on my passing skills and my voice, I will be making a lot of these short trips into public. I'm a bit nervous, but not as scared as I've been in the past.

When Cindy gets back, I'm supposed to be her assistant maid. A maid's dress has been purchased for me, which you'll see me in eventually. I have a feeling you'll be seeing me in a lot of different outfits. This is all happenning so fast.

My Name is Amber and I Love Being Pretty

It's really hot here and I haven't been granted a reprieve from wearing pantyhose in private only in public so I'm spending a lot of my days in pantyhose and shorts. Then again my male time keeps decreasing.

I found the blog posting on what was most humiliating interesting. I'll tell you what mine is since it really can't be used against me. What's most humiliating for me is how things have become second nature. When I first started, it took forever to put on my girl underwear because it was so forbidden and scary. Now, I can put up my lingerie, step into a dress, slip on my heels, put on my makeup, and not even think that I'm doing anything out of the ordinary. It's become so normal that I'll go into my drawer and pull out panties, bra, and pantyhose the same way that I used to grab a pair of boxers. When I suddenly stop and think, wow what am I doing? That's when things become humiliating.

I can't help, but be humiliated in Ms. Sue's clothes. We went to a formal with her wearing the outfit in that picture. I thought she looked extremely sexy and glamorous in it. It's weird that I know people are looking at me the same way I looked at her.

My Name is Amber and I Speak Like a Proper Young Lady

I felt terrible that my lack of practice caused Jill to get punished as well as I did. We were hot and sweaty when we were finally released. The wigs really don't help in summer, nor do the pantyhose and boots. I was in a much worse position than Jill, however as she was allowed to sit and I was forced to kneel with my face about a foot from her crotch. Like I said, it was my fault. I just feel like such an idiot when I practice this stuff, especially the way I talk.

The rest of the day wasn't so bad. I was actually in pants for the evening to go watch the fireworks. It's still tremendously weird for me to be in Ms. Susan's clothes and not just because everything is tight on me, but also because I'll remember how she looks wearing it. We saw a pretty nice fireworks display last night, but the big one downtown was canceled because of the budget.

Cindy's chastity belt scares me. Since this began I have been able to relieve my sexual frustration only under the watchful supervision of Ms. Susan. I have written essays for the privilege of being allowed to masturbate--essays about why I love to wear dresses or how sexy I am. I'll then read them while I finally get relief. I also still am allowed to have sex with Ms. Susan, but it's strictly under her terms now. In all cases, it's a dress or lingerie and moaning in my most seductive female voice. When I talk dirty to her, it also is as a seductive female. Ms. Susan has said that I won't be getting a chastity belt unless I show I need one. Things have become very embarrassing though.

My Name Is Amber and I Make a Beautiful Bride

When you're a sissy, surprises are a very dangerous thing. I won't say that they're all bad, but more often than not, you're the one about to be surprised. When all 5 mistresses showed up at my place this afternoon and suggested that it was time that I go for a walk outside, I didn't object too strenuously. I figured that I have done more embarrassing stuff. I was wrong.

Our walk turned into some window shopping, which soon turned into stepping into a bridal shop for "just a minute", which soon turned into me modeling wedding dresses. The women who worked at the shop didn't seem alarmed at all, though Ms. Sheila did insist on doing most of the talking. The good part was that they were busy with a real bride to be. The bad news is that the real bride to be and the entire wedding party were there and it wasn't long before they heard me speak and realized I was a guy.

Afterward, Ms. Amanda told me Ms. Susan is going to make you look, act, and even think as girlish as possible so you better get used to it. She told me how much less embarrassing things will be for me if I really work on learning how to pass as an actual female. I hate to admit she's partly right, but I wouldn't have to worry about it at all if they weren't trying to make me so girlish in the first place.