Monday, December 27, 2010

Why I Was Running?

First, I have to say that those boots have about a 3 inch heel and it's a narrow heel. Even without heels, boots are made for walking, not for running. Still, I was blushing when it was pointed out to me exactly how feminine I looked from behind when running. I didn't have to run away. In fact, the guy at the deli really thought me kissing Santa for the camera was funny, but we were in a rather silly mood.

My sister knows about what's been going on now. She's always been really tight with Mistress Susan and while, I don't expect her to be like Colleen has been with Jill, her reaction wasn't sympathy or laughter. It was more like, "what a common sense solution to a guy with a roving eye". That's not what she said, but she seems happy with the arrangement as she's happy Mistress Susan and I are still together. She has made a few comments about me looking like one of my aunts and of course wanted to see me in a dress, which Mistress Susan arranged. My sister is at a different college and we don't see each other a ton and with Mistress Susan and I spending most of our breaks together, she won't be needed to keep an eye on me or anything, so it isn't a major change, but it was still a bit embarrassing for her to know.

I need to pick up a New Year's Eve dress, but I haven't really started looking. I'm supposed to pick up one and take it back to college with me. Mistress Susan suggested that we go shopping tomorrow as we're going to head back to school Wednesday night.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Last Posting

Wow! I was going to talk about Christmas, but I thought I'd talk about my last posting instead. It got a ton of responses and I noticed that they were extremely contradictory with each other. The ones that jumped out at me were the ones who were angry at Mistress Susan for the switcheroo she pulled on me for Thanksgiving. I did in fact arrive dressed male and found myself as the maid shortly after. It was not a huge party all told there were 8 of us, but I always find it interesting when the blog readers get more angry about something than I did. I think that's because I left off a few details.

Mistress Susan is close to her sister and as a result, her sister took a strong dislike to me because she knew of many occasions in the past I had been a pretty crummy boyfriend. I think it was important for Mistress Susan to show her sister just how much things had changed. Yeah, it was tough to be put in that situation. but hopefully it'll break the ice a little between her sister and me.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Things are Changing in a Big Way

Thanksgiving was not what I expected. We went to Mistress Sue's older sister's place to celebrate with her and her husband and some cousins and another sister. Mistress Sue's older sister is nearly 30 and trying very hard to have her first child. She's older and more mature. Unfortunately, we were in her home 5 minutes before Mistress asked her if she minded how I dressed. I expected a lot of questions, but evidently the sister not only knew, but had seen pictures as had her husband. It took all of 5 minutes from me to go from guest to maid and while I didn't make Thanksgiving dinner or anything, I did most of the serving and all the dishes. I felt so small, especially with the real men watching football while I whipped cream for the pumpkin pie.

I'm now considered passable enough to start thinking about a job. I've dated several times now and while Mistress Susan has promised me, she would follow her own path with me, I am so unmistakably girl, that I don't doubt if I was released to be a boy again, it'd be difficult to remember how. There's a part of me that dreads knowing I will be receiving some feminine items for Christmas, but another part that is thinking, I need some new bras anyway.I hope that makes sense.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Found Out

As most of you know, Xiu found out my little secret. I had to make it through four dates with her and that was three and we will be doing Homecoming so I definitely made it. She swears she knew and used her hands to confirm, but I'm pretty sure she was aggressive and got a surprise.

Halloween is coming and that's one Halloween Costume, Sexy Bat Girl minus the cape and mask. We will be having a contest, but I don't have all the costumes together yet. The first parties are tomorrow and like all the sissies I will be going as a fairy. It's definitely weird seeing Halloween from this end.

Saturday, October 16, 2010

First Date with Roger (Xiu)

The date went OK. Obviously, he's not my type--and the problem was I knew that and he didn't. I think he was also very intent on proving to both of us that he was the man in the relationship. However, he can be a bit overbearing regardless. Very early on in the date, I started realizing I picked the wrong top because if he was aggressive enough, he'd find out that I was wearing breast forms very quickly. I did flirt and we did kiss several times. The girls saw to that. There will be another date. The key for me is to get the practice they want me to have without leading Roger on too much. He did put his hand on my knee and felt how smooth it was in the pantyhose. I asked him if he liked his pantyhose as much as mine and that stopped that, but I am sort of not supposed to treat him as anything less than 100% masculine.

As for why he isn't furious with me about the feminization--he's not happy about it, but I've mostly stood back and watched. He knows I'm part of the girls who did this, but I haven't been the one giving orders--they've been careful about this.

You'd have to ask the girls why it's so important that we date. It's sort of a right of passage and I guess it is the ultimate passing and a bit of a head trip, but it's not like Jill or Cindy are dating guys all the time. I think if we had steady boyfriends or dated guys on our own or something, they'd be very unhappy.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Xiu and I

By now, you probably should have seen that Xiu and I will be going out on a date this Friday. It seems not long ago I was the unaware guy going out with a crossdresser without realizing it. The trick is, this isn't Susan loaning me to Sheila to embarrass Xiu. This is Sheila loaning Xiu to Susan without him knowing it because it is a very safe way for me to date a boy. I'm going to have to string Xiu along by flirting, teasing, and even kissing. Susan wants to see if I can make it through 4 dates. She said the first 3 are easy. It's funny because despite the supposed stress free nature of things--I'm more nervous about dating Xiu than any date I ever went on with a girl. I'm going to take Friday morning/afternoon to get a new outfit and visit Wendy for hair and makeup talk--which will be it's own kind of embarrassment as she asks me questions about the big night.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010


The new background freaks me out. That picture of me floating on the top half of a chair is just weird. Anyway, I wasn't the bait to lure Xiu, but she's seen me as Amber a lot and remains oblivious that there is another rooster in the hen house. I have been subtlety flirting with her though and the plan is that Xiu and I will go out with him unaware that I am actually male. The plan is that it would be great practice for me and it would certainly be a safe way to date a guy who doesn't know my secret. I don't have much say in this and I think this is better than dating some guy off the street who doesn't know.

Redheads get a lot of attention. I never noticed this as a guy. It's weird seeing another sissy taken in. I know what she's in for and frankly she deserves it. Maybe I did too for cheating, but what she was doing was far worse. People pay too much for their education to have a TA messing with it. I guess she's learning a new definition for T&A now. When she finds out about us, we will take her into our little group. Nobody else can understand what we're going through. She is going to be a looker---she's so tiny for a guy and I think could almost pass without makeup.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Speed Dating

I guess it was my first date with a guy or 20 guys actually. The college had a speed dating event and guess who got signed up for it? It was scary, but it was probably really good practice as I flirted with a ton of guys for too short a time to really blow my cover. I did pretty well too as I once again got a lot of contact information. Dating is inevitable. I know it's going to happen. It still scares me. The TA is still an overbearing jerk, but I guess he's kind of a legend. Also, as I have been asked it is distracting to be sitting in class. Even when I'm dressed like a guy, I can feel my bra and every time I move my legs I feel my pantyhose.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

My Name is Amber and Guys Check Me Out

Somebody asked earlier wouldn't it be easier to go to all my classes as a girl? The answer simply is no. There are 3 types of classes at our school. There are large classes that can have up to 400 and occasionally you're not even in the same room as the professor. There are classes that are large with individual TAs assigned to small groups of students. Finally, there are small classes with 40 or less students in the class.

Freshman take their general education requirements in big classes and Seniors are in tiny classes and seminars for the most part. In a large class, you can show up in a prom dress and only the students near you will really notice. In a small one, you'd be busted immediately when your name and gender don't match. The university would certainly allow us to go to class crossgendered, but so much for keeping the secret. So far I haven't had any issues with dressing up for the 2 classes. One has a TA, but he floats around to all the students and doesn't pay attention to names. He does check out the girls quite a bit including, but not limited to me.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

My Name is Amber and I'm not Disappointed

Several of you have expressed a bit of concern for me because I came in dead last in our first competition. Don't be. I was scared to death because I had never swapped phone numbers with a guy, at least not like that. I fooled over a dozen guys in close proximity. It went very well. To top it off the girls screwed up and the penalty for coming in last actually was less the worse I did so I only had to call 4 boys. 2 of them have already called me back.

There's a lot going on here. I will be attending two classes as Amber. The problem is one of them is a 50 minute class on Monday Wednesday and Friday and the other is a Tuesday and Thursday 75 minute class. That means everyday, I need to do some quick changing.

Somebody asked what I meant by the difference between dating Ms. Susan and being her sissy. Quite simply, when we were dating it was an equal relationship and if anything as a guy, I probably called most of the shots. If I found a movie stupid, on went the ball game. Now, I really don't have a say in anything except what Ms. Susan will allow me. Sometimes, she even will pick a movie or a restaurant or a dress for me to wear specifically because she knows my reaction and she wants to remind me who the boss is.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

My Name is Amber and I'm a Flirt

I've started working on my flirting this week. Ms. Susan has had me at the library and around campus. Nobody has school work to do yet, so they have plenty of time to chat, but tonight I have to compete with the far more experienced Jill and Cindy. We will be going to a very large beginning of the year bash and competing for phone numbers. The loser is going is going to have to call all of them, while the winner will be going out to eat at a romantic restaurant with his mistress.

The one advantage I have is that I will have 4 mistresses funneling guys over to me. Cindy and Jill will only have Ms. Colleen and Ms. Kristine working for them. Still, I went out looking for a new outfit and shoes to try and impress. I've been practicing my voice and it's gotten much better. The downside is I'm going to be attending 2 of my classes as a Fall due to this improvement, but I hope to win tonight or at least not come in last.

Friday, August 20, 2010

My Name is Amber and My World is Changing

I have no idea what I'm going to do when classes start. If Cindy really is getting a job, I'll be spending about 16-18 hours a week with maid duty. We clean for all the mistresses and some of their friends including guys. I never realized how much sloppier guys are than girls until I started maid duty. We've even taken on some laundry/ironing duty with Ms. Karen's boyfriend starting an internship and needing to look nice everyday.

When I'm not cleaning I'm shopping. I look at my room and see a desk filled with cosmetics, a closet filled with dresses and heels, and a drawer filled with lingerie. Still, this isn't enough. Everything I have is for summer and I need Fall clothes, but I spend an awful lot of time looking at lingerie and heels, which don't strike me as particularly Fall like. The ages of our group are spread out kind of odd. I'm the oldest and newest of the sissies while Jill is the youngest and oldest. There is talk of me having to attend two classes dressed after all. I've made my objections clear, but I'm in kind of a tough spot where if I don't succeed I embarrass myself and if I do succeed I get put in embarrassing situations.

On the other hand, things with Ms. Susan are going very well. I think she finally trusts me again, but it is definitely a challenge when your girlfriend becomes your mistress.

Friday, August 13, 2010

My Name is Amber and I got Busted

I've kept up on the other blogs and I'm happy that the changes to me have been minor enough that my family hasn't noticed. I was also thankful to be far enough away from everybody that I didn't worry too much about the instructions that Ms. Susan gave me to always have a bra, panties, and pantyhose on and my toes painted and to stay cleanly shaven the whole time I'm home. She told me she'd make exceptions if I called her.

Maybe she got suspicious when I never asked for permission to disobey the dress code. Maybe I just underestimate the lengths my mistresses would go to in order to ensure 100% obedience. However, I received an afternoon visit from Amanda and Heather. They drove for over an hour to see that I was dressed appropriately. I wasn't. I assumed that I was out of everybody's reach. The house was empty fortunately, but I began to panic. The girls had brought one of my wigs with as well as some tape and some blue cord. Amanda immediately began going through my mom and my step-sisters' things until she had assembled an outfit for me. I put it on. I didn't have much choice and then did my makeup using my step-sister's kit. When I was done, the tied me to a chair in my step-sisters' room, they each kissed my cheek, and told me that next time maybe I'd do a better job of obeying.

I struggled against the bonds, but I couldn't budge them. I knew I wouldn't have the house to myself forever and tears of frustration began to roll down my cheeks. Maybe 10 minutes later, but it felt like 10 hours I heard the door open and knew I was caught when I heard the footsteps come up the stairs. It was Amanda and Heather. They untied me and told me that if I got caught like this again, they would tie me up on the front lawn in an evening gown. I thanked them profusely for giving me a second chance. They asked me where my feminine underwear was and I told them I hadn't brought it home. They told me to replace it and wear it the whole time I'm home. They also told me when I arrive back, I'm to be fully dressed and made up, which means buying an outfit as well. I got the lingerie today. The dress will have to wait. My step-sisters didn't ask about their makeup or clothes. I think my heart is still racing.

Friday, July 30, 2010

My Name is Amber and I'm as Red as this Background

Am01 from SheSheila on Vimeo.

I knew they were working on this and I know you have all seen most of these pictures, but the fact there is a video of me like this in cyberspace is a head trip. I'm extremely embarrassed an I know my blog will get more hits than the video, but still.

Monday, July 26, 2010

My Name is Amber and I'm a Party Girl

Tonight's challenge was passed successfully. There was a party at one of the fraternities without about 100 people there. I simply had to go in get a cup, drink a beer, and leave. It was easy. I was more nervous than at the mall because being read by frat guys is more dangerous and of those 100 people at least a few of them would know me from class, but fortunately drunk college guys are not the most discerning. I went with Ms. Susan as well as Ms. Amanda and Ms. Heather. I was given the choice of staying for more free beers, but I decided to leave well enough alone.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

My Name is Amber and I Shopped Til I Dropped

I have a lot of questions to answer now...and I will, but not tonight. Evidently, I haven't been working as hard as I should be at passing and the result was a trip to the mall for some shopping. When I found out I was naturally a bit terrified and I begged not to have to wear a dress or skirt. I found out that I can draw plenty of attention without one as I had to wear my reddest wig, a polka dot top, and heels. In some places I passed, in most places I passed at first sight, but couldn't survive an interaction. It was all kind of embarrassing although I guess it really shouldn't be. I'll be practicing a lot more tomorrow.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

My Name is Amber and I'm Becoming More Feminine

There's a good view of my new boobs for those of you who were wondering. I spend an awful big part of the day wearing them. It's been a very difficult week. Every time I turn around there's something to do, something to practice, something I need to do to feminize myself more and more. I've got in trouble a lot this week. I wore a thin white t-shirt yesterday and got in trouble for not wearing a bra when a bra would have been instantly visible.

You know that one of the things that started this was my tendency to be a player. Ms. Susan has already arranged it for me to run into one of the girls I cheated on her with while I was in a dress. She didn't recognize me, but I wanted the ground to swallow me hole. With all this going on, it can be very hard to feel like a man. Someb0dy asked about the Material Girl costume---yes I was extremely embarrassed. Nobody , but Cindy and I were in costume.

Monday, July 12, 2010

My Name is Amber and I'm a Bridesmaid

Wendy is beyond evil. She is getting married in April and today she asked the three of us to be three of her 7 bridesmaids. When I told her that April was a long way off and that I didn't intend to be dressing this way for almost another year she just patted my arm and said "I know". When I told her that I may never be able to pass that well, she guaranteed me I would. She told me she needed a beautiful redheaded bridesmaid and when I told her my hair wasn't actually red, she just laughed. Why would you want three guys you don't even know that well as bridesmaids? This is going to be so humiliating. I really felt sick to my stomach when I opened the card and saw what she intended us to do, but I know that I can't refuse. There's no way Ms. Susan would allow that. Don't bridesmaid's dress the bride?

Sunday, July 11, 2010

My Name is Amber and I My Bra Overflows

Well my breast forms did come and they are actually changing the way I type. When Ms. Susan saw them she squealed like she had won the lottery and they haven't left my chest yet. It was actually very hard to sleep last night as I was very aware of them. You'll be seeing pictures soon. I guess these pictures show how flat I was before with a padded bra and no padding.

Cindy is home now and we are all supposed to meet the woman who does their hair at lunch. I know idea why I'm supposed to be there as I have only met her once. I get the feeling that this is not going to be something that I like, but there really isn't much that I can do about it really. It also means going out to lunch in public. The girls want a big all sissy photo shoot soon as well.

I understand that I will be expected to go to class as a girl in the Fall. I will have some definite problems with that and I am going to attempt to put my foot down. It's kind of scary to think that they intend to keep me dressing into Fall though I know they're thinking years not weeks.

Friday, July 9, 2010

My Name is Amber and I Have Big Boobs

Well, I guess I don't exactly yet, but I got a message that they tried to deliver them today, but that I have to sign for them. I don't know why this has me so nervous. I've stuffed my bra out to a bigger size then my forms before, but somehow this seems like a very major step for me. I don't know. Am I being crazy?

I also have to go out in public today. It's just a trip to the drug store for pantyhose and presson nails. I go through so many pantyhose--supposedly a lot more than either Cindy or Jill did when they were novices. Ms. Susan says that to encourage me to keep working on my passing skills and my voice, I will be making a lot of these short trips into public. I'm a bit nervous, but not as scared as I've been in the past.

When Cindy gets back, I'm supposed to be her assistant maid. A maid's dress has been purchased for me, which you'll see me in eventually. I have a feeling you'll be seeing me in a lot of different outfits. This is all happenning so fast.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

My Name is Amber and I Love Being Pretty

It's really hot here and I haven't been granted a reprieve from wearing pantyhose in private only in public so I'm spending a lot of my days in pantyhose and shorts. Then again my male time keeps decreasing.

I found the blog posting on what was most humiliating interesting. I'll tell you what mine is since it really can't be used against me. What's most humiliating for me is how things have become second nature. When I first started, it took forever to put on my girl underwear because it was so forbidden and scary. Now, I can put up my lingerie, step into a dress, slip on my heels, put on my makeup, and not even think that I'm doing anything out of the ordinary. It's become so normal that I'll go into my drawer and pull out panties, bra, and pantyhose the same way that I used to grab a pair of boxers. When I suddenly stop and think, wow what am I doing? That's when things become humiliating.

I can't help, but be humiliated in Ms. Sue's clothes. We went to a formal with her wearing the outfit in that picture. I thought she looked extremely sexy and glamorous in it. It's weird that I know people are looking at me the same way I looked at her.

Monday, July 5, 2010

My Name is Amber and I Speak Like a Proper Young Lady

I felt terrible that my lack of practice caused Jill to get punished as well as I did. We were hot and sweaty when we were finally released. The wigs really don't help in summer, nor do the pantyhose and boots. I was in a much worse position than Jill, however as she was allowed to sit and I was forced to kneel with my face about a foot from her crotch. Like I said, it was my fault. I just feel like such an idiot when I practice this stuff, especially the way I talk.

The rest of the day wasn't so bad. I was actually in pants for the evening to go watch the fireworks. It's still tremendously weird for me to be in Ms. Susan's clothes and not just because everything is tight on me, but also because I'll remember how she looks wearing it. We saw a pretty nice fireworks display last night, but the big one downtown was canceled because of the budget.

Cindy's chastity belt scares me. Since this began I have been able to relieve my sexual frustration only under the watchful supervision of Ms. Susan. I have written essays for the privilege of being allowed to masturbate--essays about why I love to wear dresses or how sexy I am. I'll then read them while I finally get relief. I also still am allowed to have sex with Ms. Susan, but it's strictly under her terms now. In all cases, it's a dress or lingerie and moaning in my most seductive female voice. When I talk dirty to her, it also is as a seductive female. Ms. Susan has said that I won't be getting a chastity belt unless I show I need one. Things have become very embarrassing though.

Friday, July 2, 2010

My Name Is Amber and I Make a Beautiful Bride

When you're a sissy, surprises are a very dangerous thing. I won't say that they're all bad, but more often than not, you're the one about to be surprised. When all 5 mistresses showed up at my place this afternoon and suggested that it was time that I go for a walk outside, I didn't object too strenuously. I figured that I have done more embarrassing stuff. I was wrong.

Our walk turned into some window shopping, which soon turned into stepping into a bridal shop for "just a minute", which soon turned into me modeling wedding dresses. The women who worked at the shop didn't seem alarmed at all, though Ms. Sheila did insist on doing most of the talking. The good part was that they were busy with a real bride to be. The bad news is that the real bride to be and the entire wedding party were there and it wasn't long before they heard me speak and realized I was a guy.

Afterward, Ms. Amanda told me Ms. Susan is going to make you look, act, and even think as girlish as possible so you better get used to it. She told me how much less embarrassing things will be for me if I really work on learning how to pass as an actual female. I hate to admit she's partly right, but I wouldn't have to worry about it at all if they weren't trying to make me so girlish in the first place.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

My Name is Amber and I Host Lovely Parties

I hosted a lunch today for Ms. Susan, Ms. Amanda, Ms. Sheila, and Jill. In addition to making lunch, Jill and I also put on a small fashion show for everybody. I think I'm OK with Jill now. She's even agreed to work with me on my voice and mannerisms. She scares me. It's amazing to me how much like a girl she can be now less than a year after her training started. When Ms. Sheila was teasing me about this, I told her that I couldn't believe how effectively she was turned so quickly. Ms. Sheila laughed and told me that since they'd already practiced on Jill and Cindy, I'd probably be even faster and easier to train. I wanted to tell her that she was wrong, but frankly I wasn't so sure so I backed down.

We will be buying padding for me tonight or tomorrow. In answer to the question I was asked earlier, I'd really prefer A cups, but I think B is the best I can hope for. In any case, I will be getting very noticeable boobs and some hip and butt help soon. The lunch wound up being a success. It's unseasonably in the early 70s so the pantyhose heat index is not an issue today.

Heels - In answer to a question I was asked, I usually wear 3 inch heels. Sometimes if I'm lucky 2. I have found that there are a lot of things more important to the comfort or discomfort of shoes than heel height. Although as I type this, Access Hollywood just did a story where they interviewed Kristin Stewart and she had to remove her 6 inch heels due to foot pain. Jill and I are supposed to go to Twilight tomorrow so I guess everything comes full circle.

Monday, June 28, 2010

My Name is Amber and I Wear Pantyhose

Today was pantyhose day. I added pantyhose to my bra and panties. Unfortunately, it's summer and under heavy jeans the pantyhose are just too warm and under shorts, they're just too visible. I've only got one pair of dockers so it's causing other issues with comfort.

Tomorrow Jill is supposed to come over. The mistresses want to make sure there is no bad blood between us. I do feel a bit betrayed over how things went down, but I also know how difficult it is to not give in to them. As a result, I'm mostly willing to forgive and forget. The above picture really bothers me. It gives you an idea of what I look like working out and it's the first picture I've seen of me where I think I look kind of hot. It's definitely a mind f***.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

My Name is Amber and I Love Chick Flicks

I'm sorry that I haven't been able to post for a few days. I've been under the weather. I spent most of the last 3 days in bed watching a steady rotation of movies provided for me by Ms. Susan. I saw 13 Going on 30, Devil Wears Prada, Mean Girls, Twilight, New Moon, and How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.

I'm out of bed now and they're making up for lost time it seems. Monday I begin wearing pantyhose fulltime. I need to buy several more pantyhose. Wearing lingerie underneath my regular clothing is so nerve racking. You just can feel like everybody knows what you're wearing even when there is no possible way.

LGB: The worst part of the shopping trip was just feeling like everybody was scaring at me. I am sure that it wasn't as bad as I made it out to be in my mind, but it still embarrased me.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

My Name is Amber and I Can Dance in Heels

Today was my high heel final exam. As it was billed to me, do a good job and we will not bug you about how you walk in heels anymore. My final was to do a dance to the song from Flashdance. Now, I've never seen the movie, but I've seen clips of the dance and I know I couldn't do half the things that she did and I had to do it in heels while she was barefoot. I impressed the girls enough with my dancing. This move on the chair was not part of the dance, but it was a pose they insisted I give them. The important thing is I'm done with heel practice. They were satisfied and now I can concentrate on makeup.

Questions I missed:
Carrie - Thanks for your comments on my makeup. They have mostly had me doing two looks--one for day and one for night.
Patty - As you can see, I've just dressed up outside, but I haven't come out to anybody nor do I intend to.
Brandy - I've been wearing Pink by Victoria Secret. Lip stain sounds like a real problem to take off.

Monday, June 21, 2010

My Name is Amber and I'm Stacked

OK, as you can see, stacked is a major exaggeration, but today was my first day wearing a bra. This is something I was told I will need to get used to because I will be in one for the foreseeable future. Ms. Susan even mentioned as she played with my bra strap today that we need to start thinking about getting me some breast forms. Having been fooled by Jill's fake breasts up very close, I can tell you that they make them extremely lifelike. I just hope I don't wind up with 36 EEEs or something.

Today was my first trip out in public. I was sent to the Walgreens to pick up a few things and to scan the magazines for at least 15 minutes before picking up the latest Glamour. My heart was beating a mile a minute even though the only speaking I had to do was to say "mmmhmm" and "Thank you" to the cashier. I also picked up tampons (Obviously for the embarrassment factor), fake nails (obviously to use), and clothesline (I'm assuming to be tied up with if I misbehave).

This whole experience is such a mind f***. It's just hard to think that I have a drawer full of lingerie that I bought for myself and I wear everyday. If the object was to make me feel less manly, and I guess it was in part, they've succeeded.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

My Name is Amber and I like Being Pretty

There's a lot coming next week. I was informed today by Ms. Amanda and Ms. Susan that beginning tomorrow, I will not only be wearing panties, but also a bra when I'm dressed as a boy. They have informed me that it's not impossible to conceal, but it'll take some work for me to get used to hiding things at first. They also suggested I use Jill or Cindy as resources.

Next week they also want me to get outside. They've warned me that they'll send me to the drugstore or just on a small walk to get used to being seen as a girl. I'm terrified that everybody will see right through me, but at this point I don't know what choice I have. They also reiterated that shaving must be done at least every other day. This is so complicated.

You can only imagine how self-conscious I felt calling my dad to wish him a Happy Father's Day while I'm wearing a purple dress. It made the whole chat seem awkward.

My Name is Amber and I'm a Supermodel

Yesterday, we went shopping at the mall and though I spent literally hundreds of dollars on my own feminization, it wasn't so bad. I was allowed to wear male clothes and didn't have to try anything on. The shopping itself was a weird combination of having to pick out things for myself and having items dictated to me no matter how I might object to purchasing them. Most of the clothes were sexy, but on the right slide of totally trashy. The exception was lingerie where the girls got creative.

Yesterday evening, I went over to Ms. Susan's and with Ms. Sheila, Ms. Amanda, Ms. Heather, also in attendance I put on a fashion show. I modeled many of the items that I had purchased and the girls brought a few of their clothes that they wanted to see me in. Overall the night was extremely humiliating. When the night was finally winding down I was told that it wouldn't be my last shopping trip, but it may well be my last one in male clothes so that I better practice the skills that I'll need to pass. They want me to go outside in a dress at some point this week. I'm scared.

Friday, June 18, 2010

My Name is Amber And I Still Wear Panties

Thank you to whoever pointed out Cindy's profile to me. I saw that I was being played and I exploded, I immediately took off my heels and packed up my makeup and my new purchases and I destroyed them throwing them out in the dumpster behind my building. I then called up Ms. Susan very calmly and told her I needed to see her immediately.

When she arrived, she took one look at me and new that I was on to her. She told me that we could do things the hard way. She could call Ms. Heather and between the two of them dress and restrain me or she could send out my pictures to everybody I knew or we could just sit and talk calmly. I was not happy, but I chose the second option.

She told me that by cheating on her multiple times I had humiliated her and that she needed to humiliate me right now. By turning me into her girl she was doing it, but doing it without embarrassing me in front of my friends or family. She also told me that the fact I didn't like doing it, but I was doing it anyway to please her was very romantic and the fact that I was doing it not to displease her was extremely erotic for her. She reminded me that I promised to be her girl and informed me that she still wanted that. I tried to convince her to let me be her man, but she reminded me that it didn't work out too well for us.

I talked to her about Jill and Cindy and she told me that she had no doubt that by the end of the Summer, I'd be just as feminine as they are. I can't believe that and I don't want to think about it. They've been doing it so long and by now you know that Jill had me totally fooled. Ms. Susan informed me that if I didn't want her to send out the pictures or to inform Ms. Heather I'd need to reallize just how feminine she was going to make me, not just in my looks, but in my behavior, and my thoughts. She also told me I'd have to be punished for throwing out my things. I agreed and go a major spanking. Tomorrow we're going to go shopping to replace my lingerie and makeup and then some.

Some of you are going to think I'm a real wimp for backing down, but I didn't know what else to do. When she left, I even apologized. She told me she was proud of me for that. I've been looking at those blogs all day--I can't see how she can possibly turn me into that, but it's scary just to think she's trying to do this.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

My Name is Amber and I Wear Perfume

It's not about perfume I'm afraid, although I did get a good spray today. I've just run out of My Name is Ambers and I forgot to do your questions today.

Connie - That Nair scenario is frightening. Isn't Nair only temporary?
Katie - I'm not a big lipstick fan. It feels kind of gunky and the taste takes getting used to.

My Name is Amber and I Shave My Legs

I had a rude awakening today. I was getting relieved that my leg hair was finally growing back. As I was doing my makeup lesson today, Ms. Susan noticed some leg hairs sprouting out of my pantyhose and rubbed her hand up and down my leg. She then told me that I would have to shave my legs before the weekend.

I was not expecting to have to keep them smooth, but she warned me that I needed to take care of this every couple of days. An argument began and she then proceeded to tie me to the chair and shave my legs right there. I was not the least bit happy. When she was done she straddled me and proceeded to finish the makeup application. There was something erotic to have her sitting on my lap like that and as she teased me, I became very aroused. In the end it was for nothing as I couldn't do much and by the time she untied me I was no longer excited, but I can't deny that having the makeup put on me that way was strangely erotic.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

My Name is Amber and I Apply Makeup

I guess the heels are getting better because today was massive practice with my new makeup. It started with Ms. Susan calling me at 10 in the morning and telling me to just go to my mirror and experiment and play. Then at noon Ms. Susan's friend Ms. Amanda came over and started to teach me. She would makeup my face and then I'd clean it off and try to do the same thing myself. They really do seem intent on having me practice and learn everything about being feminine. We're coming up on a week that this has been going on for and it truly shows no sign of letting up. I'm also finding that if anything I've given them far more blackmail material. Ms. Amanda really treated it like tutoring me.

Connie - Ms. Karen seemed to have a pretty good idea on what to have me buy. She definitely seemed to be there as an adviser. Ms. Susan definitely seems to get along really well with her for not being friends very long. I wish I knew what was up with that.

Disgusted - It's very easy to say when you're not the one in heels and panties.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

My Name is Amber and I Buy Lingerie

Tonight's shopping trip was to Target. I was allowed to dress like a guy and was accompanied by Ms. Susan and her friend Ms. Karen. I was required to buy4 two packs of panties in black, red, violet, and pink. I purchased two bras one an A cup in white and one a C Cup in black. I bought a pair of black and a pair of nude pantyhose, and an assortment of makeup. I was very nervous as I gave the girl my credit card to cover the $137 purchase. She didn't really react until Ms. Susan told me, wow you sure got yourself some nice things. Now my clothes won't be all stretched out. The sales girl laughed and I turned bright red. I'm way behind on your questions so I will do my best to catch up here:

Connie - I don't know where the wigs come from. I have a half dozen wigs in different styles and colors. Ms. Susan wants me to be a redhead for some reason.

LB - I admit that I screwed up pretty bad.

Isobel - I think a French Maid's outfit would be pretty embarrassing. I think I'll stick with the more normal clothing I have had to wear so far.

Katie - I'm surprised to find that some women like it. I guess it makes me feel a small bit better about it.

Cindy - I have to admit your posts are some of my favorites. I'm a bit alarmed to see myself with any curves.

CB - A heels test is walking in the heels and being judged on my hip sway, grace, and elegance. There are a number of good videos on Youtube, but heels are tricky to pick up on. I think I can walk better in heels than a lot of girls in my college can.

Sorry if I missed anybody.

My Name is Amber and I Paint My Toes

Not much going on here. I'm still in the doghouse and still trying to learn how to perfect my walk in heels. I painted my toes this morning so that they would look better with my open toes shoes. I'm trying very hard to wait Ms. Susan out. She wants to go shopping with me tonight--I'm not sure for what.

Monday, June 14, 2010

My Name is Amber and I Wear a Bra

Anonymous - That did not occur to me. I guess there are ways to make sure a bra isn't removed. It's weird wearing one. I can't believe some guys have to do it all the time.

MAM - Everybody tells me to get into being girly that it'll make things easier, but it's just very foreign from me and I don't think I can get into it.

Sissy Melissa - I'll keep posting pictures as long as it's required of me. The "My Name is Amber and I Wear..." titles are Ms. Susan's idea. I do think she is being too harsh and I'm hoping she will come to her senses soon.

Cindy - Wow! I've never met a woman that likes this sort of thing. I guess there's a turn on for everybody. The long red hair everybody likes is a wig. I'm a short haired brunette.

My Name is Amber and I Wear Makeup

I failed the heels test so I got them again today. I also got a major spanking last night for my attitude. I know it sounds kind of cool to have your girlfriend spank you, but I got tied over a chair and one of her friends who is quite strong warmed me up. By the time Ms. Susan was smacking my behind there were tears rolling down my cheeks. I've been working on the heels all day and it's very disturbing to hear the click clack of my own heels, but it's not easy to pick up. I think I'm better than I was

CR - Thanks for sharing your friends story, but that's just too long. I hope she won't feel the need to have this thing go on for a whole month.

Anonymous - What sissy site was this blog on? I hope you were kidding. It would explain why so many people are visiting, but I'd be very furious. Yes, I am definitely fighting this where I can.

Anonymous - A google search showed me locking heels. Nasty things that I will fight against tooth and nail. What do you mean about bras though? It seems like they're easy enough to take off.

Anonymous - I don't excuse myself of blame, but I was setup. In court it'd be called entrapment. I do know I shouldn't have cheated though I never even had sex with this other girl.

Anonymous - I didn't enjoy the modeling, but I tolerated it. Lately, things have become much stricter though.

Anonymous - I do dress myself, but makeup is way beyond me. I think I'd poke my eye out. Most of the lipstick I've worn has been a pink gloss. I've only worn a few darker shades. They've played with my eyebrows a bit, but I wouldn't say they look girly. As for an outfit--I've been put in things designed to be extra feminine so I wouldn't say I have a favorite yet.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

My Name is Amber and I Wear Dresses

I'm kind of surprised to find so many responses to what I wrote. I don't know if some of you get this, but I don't want any of it. Don't tell me that pretty girls shouldn't pout because I'm not a girl. To the person who said there friend had to do it for a few weeks if you're still reading I'd like to know what your friend had to put up with and how you found out. I don't think I could do this for more than a week.

The way that it's been explained to me by Miss Susan as I am to call her, is that when I am around her I better be enthusiastic and that I better not complain after what I supposedly did. On the other hand, in this blog I'm supposed to share my feelings about what is happening to me even if it means complaining about her. My only requirements are to answer questions, to post pictures, and to entitle each entry My Name is Amber and I Wear something.

The thing that's really bothering me now is her new friends. There are four girls who I never really saw before who are completely helping her do this to me. I don't get it. It's almost like I they're the A-Team or something. They know what they're doing and one of them literally kicked my ass. I'm wondering if it's their idea. I had several visits today to make sure I was in my heels. They think of everything, but I know nothing about them.

1) You say you are 'forced' to wear panties? Who bought them, from where and what styles and colors do you now own? My girlfriend gave me a bunch. She had purchased them for me. There are two thongs that I have not touched, but most are normal not granny panties--a lot of lace.
2)You say that you copied 4 papers from your girlfriend? Are you expecting her to work for your degree as well as her own? That does seem to be a bit much! She had the same class before me. She swears if she reports me she can convince them I got them off her computer without her knowledge. I don't buy that for a minute.
3)Has she given any indication how long you will be in panties? (the heels and dress do co-ordinate but they do hide your panties, but I guess we can believe you when you said you are forced to wear them) She hasn't. Obviously, this can't go on much longer.

My Name is Amber and I Wear High Heels

I realized just how little power I am to have in this whole relationship when there was a snafu with the web page last night. After posting on it, Blogger would not let me back in. I was blamed for it. I actually got punished for that. Today Sue came over with a pair of black heels and told me to put them on. When I balked she told me how much I like heels. I told her I still did, on her. Her response was to tell me to get used to the shoe being on the other foot now. I can be obedient up to the point, but it's like I'm on house arrest now because she mercifully didn't put me in a dress or anything, but I still am wearing women's shorts which show off that they shaved my leg hair, as well as a stuffed bra, wig, and makeup. She warned me that her new friends know a way of locking the heels onto my feet if I take them off and that she would be back this evening to see how much I've practiced walking in my new shoes. Fuck practicing. I'm not a girl and I won't dress like one either. Fun is fun, but this is too much.

My Name is Amber and I Wear Panties

My name is Amber and I wear panties. I have to wear them at all times now, since my girlfriend caught me cheating on her. The problem is, I was totally and completely set up and she used one of her friends to seduce me. I don't think any guy would have reacted differently than I did. Over the last few days, she has had me modeling dresses, heels, makeup, and all sorts of feminine attire. She has told me that this will be the case for some time now. If I don't comply all my friends will see these pictures, the university will be informed of 4 papers which I copied from her for an English literature class, and she will basically ruin me. She has also informed me that being obedient to her is my only chance of staying with her. For now, it seems I'm trapped.