Tuesday, June 29, 2010

My Name is Amber and I Host Lovely Parties

I hosted a lunch today for Ms. Susan, Ms. Amanda, Ms. Sheila, and Jill. In addition to making lunch, Jill and I also put on a small fashion show for everybody. I think I'm OK with Jill now. She's even agreed to work with me on my voice and mannerisms. She scares me. It's amazing to me how much like a girl she can be now less than a year after her training started. When Ms. Sheila was teasing me about this, I told her that I couldn't believe how effectively she was turned so quickly. Ms. Sheila laughed and told me that since they'd already practiced on Jill and Cindy, I'd probably be even faster and easier to train. I wanted to tell her that she was wrong, but frankly I wasn't so sure so I backed down.

We will be buying padding for me tonight or tomorrow. In answer to the question I was asked earlier, I'd really prefer A cups, but I think B is the best I can hope for. In any case, I will be getting very noticeable boobs and some hip and butt help soon. The lunch wound up being a success. It's unseasonably in the early 70s so the pantyhose heat index is not an issue today.

Heels - In answer to a question I was asked, I usually wear 3 inch heels. Sometimes if I'm lucky 2. I have found that there are a lot of things more important to the comfort or discomfort of shoes than heel height. Although as I type this, Access Hollywood just did a story where they interviewed Kristin Stewart and she had to remove her 6 inch heels due to foot pain. Jill and I are supposed to go to Twilight tomorrow so I guess everything comes full circle.

Monday, June 28, 2010

My Name is Amber and I Wear Pantyhose

Today was pantyhose day. I added pantyhose to my bra and panties. Unfortunately, it's summer and under heavy jeans the pantyhose are just too warm and under shorts, they're just too visible. I've only got one pair of dockers so it's causing other issues with comfort.

Tomorrow Jill is supposed to come over. The mistresses want to make sure there is no bad blood between us. I do feel a bit betrayed over how things went down, but I also know how difficult it is to not give in to them. As a result, I'm mostly willing to forgive and forget. The above picture really bothers me. It gives you an idea of what I look like working out and it's the first picture I've seen of me where I think I look kind of hot. It's definitely a mind f***.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

My Name is Amber and I Love Chick Flicks

I'm sorry that I haven't been able to post for a few days. I've been under the weather. I spent most of the last 3 days in bed watching a steady rotation of movies provided for me by Ms. Susan. I saw 13 Going on 30, Devil Wears Prada, Mean Girls, Twilight, New Moon, and How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.

I'm out of bed now and they're making up for lost time it seems. Monday I begin wearing pantyhose fulltime. I need to buy several more pantyhose. Wearing lingerie underneath my regular clothing is so nerve racking. You just can feel like everybody knows what you're wearing even when there is no possible way.

LGB: The worst part of the shopping trip was just feeling like everybody was scaring at me. I am sure that it wasn't as bad as I made it out to be in my mind, but it still embarrased me.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

My Name is Amber and I Can Dance in Heels

Today was my high heel final exam. As it was billed to me, do a good job and we will not bug you about how you walk in heels anymore. My final was to do a dance to the song from Flashdance. Now, I've never seen the movie, but I've seen clips of the dance and I know I couldn't do half the things that she did and I had to do it in heels while she was barefoot. I impressed the girls enough with my dancing. This move on the chair was not part of the dance, but it was a pose they insisted I give them. The important thing is I'm done with heel practice. They were satisfied and now I can concentrate on makeup.

Questions I missed:
Carrie - Thanks for your comments on my makeup. They have mostly had me doing two looks--one for day and one for night.
Patty - As you can see, I've just dressed up outside, but I haven't come out to anybody nor do I intend to.
Brandy - I've been wearing Pink by Victoria Secret. Lip stain sounds like a real problem to take off.

Monday, June 21, 2010

My Name is Amber and I'm Stacked

OK, as you can see, stacked is a major exaggeration, but today was my first day wearing a bra. This is something I was told I will need to get used to because I will be in one for the foreseeable future. Ms. Susan even mentioned as she played with my bra strap today that we need to start thinking about getting me some breast forms. Having been fooled by Jill's fake breasts up very close, I can tell you that they make them extremely lifelike. I just hope I don't wind up with 36 EEEs or something.

Today was my first trip out in public. I was sent to the Walgreens to pick up a few things and to scan the magazines for at least 15 minutes before picking up the latest Glamour. My heart was beating a mile a minute even though the only speaking I had to do was to say "mmmhmm" and "Thank you" to the cashier. I also picked up tampons (Obviously for the embarrassment factor), fake nails (obviously to use), and clothesline (I'm assuming to be tied up with if I misbehave).

This whole experience is such a mind f***. It's just hard to think that I have a drawer full of lingerie that I bought for myself and I wear everyday. If the object was to make me feel less manly, and I guess it was in part, they've succeeded.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

My Name is Amber and I like Being Pretty

There's a lot coming next week. I was informed today by Ms. Amanda and Ms. Susan that beginning tomorrow, I will not only be wearing panties, but also a bra when I'm dressed as a boy. They have informed me that it's not impossible to conceal, but it'll take some work for me to get used to hiding things at first. They also suggested I use Jill or Cindy as resources.

Next week they also want me to get outside. They've warned me that they'll send me to the drugstore or just on a small walk to get used to being seen as a girl. I'm terrified that everybody will see right through me, but at this point I don't know what choice I have. They also reiterated that shaving must be done at least every other day. This is so complicated.

You can only imagine how self-conscious I felt calling my dad to wish him a Happy Father's Day while I'm wearing a purple dress. It made the whole chat seem awkward.

My Name is Amber and I'm a Supermodel

Yesterday, we went shopping at the mall and though I spent literally hundreds of dollars on my own feminization, it wasn't so bad. I was allowed to wear male clothes and didn't have to try anything on. The shopping itself was a weird combination of having to pick out things for myself and having items dictated to me no matter how I might object to purchasing them. Most of the clothes were sexy, but on the right slide of totally trashy. The exception was lingerie where the girls got creative.

Yesterday evening, I went over to Ms. Susan's and with Ms. Sheila, Ms. Amanda, Ms. Heather, also in attendance I put on a fashion show. I modeled many of the items that I had purchased and the girls brought a few of their clothes that they wanted to see me in. Overall the night was extremely humiliating. When the night was finally winding down I was told that it wouldn't be my last shopping trip, but it may well be my last one in male clothes so that I better practice the skills that I'll need to pass. They want me to go outside in a dress at some point this week. I'm scared.

Friday, June 18, 2010

My Name is Amber And I Still Wear Panties

Thank you to whoever pointed out Cindy's profile to me. I saw that I was being played and I exploded, I immediately took off my heels and packed up my makeup and my new purchases and I destroyed them throwing them out in the dumpster behind my building. I then called up Ms. Susan very calmly and told her I needed to see her immediately.

When she arrived, she took one look at me and new that I was on to her. She told me that we could do things the hard way. She could call Ms. Heather and between the two of them dress and restrain me or she could send out my pictures to everybody I knew or we could just sit and talk calmly. I was not happy, but I chose the second option.

She told me that by cheating on her multiple times I had humiliated her and that she needed to humiliate me right now. By turning me into her girl she was doing it, but doing it without embarrassing me in front of my friends or family. She also told me that the fact I didn't like doing it, but I was doing it anyway to please her was very romantic and the fact that I was doing it not to displease her was extremely erotic for her. She reminded me that I promised to be her girl and informed me that she still wanted that. I tried to convince her to let me be her man, but she reminded me that it didn't work out too well for us.

I talked to her about Jill and Cindy and she told me that she had no doubt that by the end of the Summer, I'd be just as feminine as they are. I can't believe that and I don't want to think about it. They've been doing it so long and by now you know that Jill had me totally fooled. Ms. Susan informed me that if I didn't want her to send out the pictures or to inform Ms. Heather I'd need to reallize just how feminine she was going to make me, not just in my looks, but in my behavior, and my thoughts. She also told me I'd have to be punished for throwing out my things. I agreed and go a major spanking. Tomorrow we're going to go shopping to replace my lingerie and makeup and then some.

Some of you are going to think I'm a real wimp for backing down, but I didn't know what else to do. When she left, I even apologized. She told me she was proud of me for that. I've been looking at those blogs all day--I can't see how she can possibly turn me into that, but it's scary just to think she's trying to do this.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

My Name is Amber and I Wear Perfume

It's not about perfume I'm afraid, although I did get a good spray today. I've just run out of My Name is Ambers and I forgot to do your questions today.

Connie - That Nair scenario is frightening. Isn't Nair only temporary?
Katie - I'm not a big lipstick fan. It feels kind of gunky and the taste takes getting used to.

My Name is Amber and I Shave My Legs

I had a rude awakening today. I was getting relieved that my leg hair was finally growing back. As I was doing my makeup lesson today, Ms. Susan noticed some leg hairs sprouting out of my pantyhose and rubbed her hand up and down my leg. She then told me that I would have to shave my legs before the weekend.

I was not expecting to have to keep them smooth, but she warned me that I needed to take care of this every couple of days. An argument began and she then proceeded to tie me to the chair and shave my legs right there. I was not the least bit happy. When she was done she straddled me and proceeded to finish the makeup application. There was something erotic to have her sitting on my lap like that and as she teased me, I became very aroused. In the end it was for nothing as I couldn't do much and by the time she untied me I was no longer excited, but I can't deny that having the makeup put on me that way was strangely erotic.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

My Name is Amber and I Apply Makeup

I guess the heels are getting better because today was massive practice with my new makeup. It started with Ms. Susan calling me at 10 in the morning and telling me to just go to my mirror and experiment and play. Then at noon Ms. Susan's friend Ms. Amanda came over and started to teach me. She would makeup my face and then I'd clean it off and try to do the same thing myself. They really do seem intent on having me practice and learn everything about being feminine. We're coming up on a week that this has been going on for and it truly shows no sign of letting up. I'm also finding that if anything I've given them far more blackmail material. Ms. Amanda really treated it like tutoring me.

Connie - Ms. Karen seemed to have a pretty good idea on what to have me buy. She definitely seemed to be there as an adviser. Ms. Susan definitely seems to get along really well with her for not being friends very long. I wish I knew what was up with that.

Disgusted - It's very easy to say when you're not the one in heels and panties.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

My Name is Amber and I Buy Lingerie

Tonight's shopping trip was to Target. I was allowed to dress like a guy and was accompanied by Ms. Susan and her friend Ms. Karen. I was required to buy4 two packs of panties in black, red, violet, and pink. I purchased two bras one an A cup in white and one a C Cup in black. I bought a pair of black and a pair of nude pantyhose, and an assortment of makeup. I was very nervous as I gave the girl my credit card to cover the $137 purchase. She didn't really react until Ms. Susan told me, wow you sure got yourself some nice things. Now my clothes won't be all stretched out. The sales girl laughed and I turned bright red. I'm way behind on your questions so I will do my best to catch up here:

Connie - I don't know where the wigs come from. I have a half dozen wigs in different styles and colors. Ms. Susan wants me to be a redhead for some reason.

LB - I admit that I screwed up pretty bad.

Isobel - I think a French Maid's outfit would be pretty embarrassing. I think I'll stick with the more normal clothing I have had to wear so far.

Katie - I'm surprised to find that some women like it. I guess it makes me feel a small bit better about it.

Cindy - I have to admit your posts are some of my favorites. I'm a bit alarmed to see myself with any curves.

CB - A heels test is walking in the heels and being judged on my hip sway, grace, and elegance. There are a number of good videos on Youtube, but heels are tricky to pick up on. I think I can walk better in heels than a lot of girls in my college can.

Sorry if I missed anybody.

My Name is Amber and I Paint My Toes

Not much going on here. I'm still in the doghouse and still trying to learn how to perfect my walk in heels. I painted my toes this morning so that they would look better with my open toes shoes. I'm trying very hard to wait Ms. Susan out. She wants to go shopping with me tonight--I'm not sure for what.

Monday, June 14, 2010

My Name is Amber and I Wear a Bra

Anonymous - That did not occur to me. I guess there are ways to make sure a bra isn't removed. It's weird wearing one. I can't believe some guys have to do it all the time.

MAM - Everybody tells me to get into being girly that it'll make things easier, but it's just very foreign from me and I don't think I can get into it.

Sissy Melissa - I'll keep posting pictures as long as it's required of me. The "My Name is Amber and I Wear..." titles are Ms. Susan's idea. I do think she is being too harsh and I'm hoping she will come to her senses soon.

Cindy - Wow! I've never met a woman that likes this sort of thing. I guess there's a turn on for everybody. The long red hair everybody likes is a wig. I'm a short haired brunette.

My Name is Amber and I Wear Makeup

I failed the heels test so I got them again today. I also got a major spanking last night for my attitude. I know it sounds kind of cool to have your girlfriend spank you, but I got tied over a chair and one of her friends who is quite strong warmed me up. By the time Ms. Susan was smacking my behind there were tears rolling down my cheeks. I've been working on the heels all day and it's very disturbing to hear the click clack of my own heels, but it's not easy to pick up. I think I'm better than I was

CR - Thanks for sharing your friends story, but that's just too long. I hope she won't feel the need to have this thing go on for a whole month.

Anonymous - What sissy site was this blog on? I hope you were kidding. It would explain why so many people are visiting, but I'd be very furious. Yes, I am definitely fighting this where I can.

Anonymous - A google search showed me locking heels. Nasty things that I will fight against tooth and nail. What do you mean about bras though? It seems like they're easy enough to take off.

Anonymous - I don't excuse myself of blame, but I was setup. In court it'd be called entrapment. I do know I shouldn't have cheated though I never even had sex with this other girl.

Anonymous - I didn't enjoy the modeling, but I tolerated it. Lately, things have become much stricter though.

Anonymous - I do dress myself, but makeup is way beyond me. I think I'd poke my eye out. Most of the lipstick I've worn has been a pink gloss. I've only worn a few darker shades. They've played with my eyebrows a bit, but I wouldn't say they look girly. As for an outfit--I've been put in things designed to be extra feminine so I wouldn't say I have a favorite yet.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

My Name is Amber and I Wear Dresses

I'm kind of surprised to find so many responses to what I wrote. I don't know if some of you get this, but I don't want any of it. Don't tell me that pretty girls shouldn't pout because I'm not a girl. To the person who said there friend had to do it for a few weeks if you're still reading I'd like to know what your friend had to put up with and how you found out. I don't think I could do this for more than a week.

The way that it's been explained to me by Miss Susan as I am to call her, is that when I am around her I better be enthusiastic and that I better not complain after what I supposedly did. On the other hand, in this blog I'm supposed to share my feelings about what is happening to me even if it means complaining about her. My only requirements are to answer questions, to post pictures, and to entitle each entry My Name is Amber and I Wear something.

The thing that's really bothering me now is her new friends. There are four girls who I never really saw before who are completely helping her do this to me. I don't get it. It's almost like I they're the A-Team or something. They know what they're doing and one of them literally kicked my ass. I'm wondering if it's their idea. I had several visits today to make sure I was in my heels. They think of everything, but I know nothing about them.

1) You say you are 'forced' to wear panties? Who bought them, from where and what styles and colors do you now own? My girlfriend gave me a bunch. She had purchased them for me. There are two thongs that I have not touched, but most are normal not granny panties--a lot of lace.
2)You say that you copied 4 papers from your girlfriend? Are you expecting her to work for your degree as well as her own? That does seem to be a bit much! She had the same class before me. She swears if she reports me she can convince them I got them off her computer without her knowledge. I don't buy that for a minute.
3)Has she given any indication how long you will be in panties? (the heels and dress do co-ordinate but they do hide your panties, but I guess we can believe you when you said you are forced to wear them) She hasn't. Obviously, this can't go on much longer.

My Name is Amber and I Wear High Heels

I realized just how little power I am to have in this whole relationship when there was a snafu with the web page last night. After posting on it, Blogger would not let me back in. I was blamed for it. I actually got punished for that. Today Sue came over with a pair of black heels and told me to put them on. When I balked she told me how much I like heels. I told her I still did, on her. Her response was to tell me to get used to the shoe being on the other foot now. I can be obedient up to the point, but it's like I'm on house arrest now because she mercifully didn't put me in a dress or anything, but I still am wearing women's shorts which show off that they shaved my leg hair, as well as a stuffed bra, wig, and makeup. She warned me that her new friends know a way of locking the heels onto my feet if I take them off and that she would be back this evening to see how much I've practiced walking in my new shoes. Fuck practicing. I'm not a girl and I won't dress like one either. Fun is fun, but this is too much.

My Name is Amber and I Wear Panties

My name is Amber and I wear panties. I have to wear them at all times now, since my girlfriend caught me cheating on her. The problem is, I was totally and completely set up and she used one of her friends to seduce me. I don't think any guy would have reacted differently than I did. Over the last few days, she has had me modeling dresses, heels, makeup, and all sorts of feminine attire. She has told me that this will be the case for some time now. If I don't comply all my friends will see these pictures, the university will be informed of 4 papers which I copied from her for an English literature class, and she will basically ruin me. She has also informed me that being obedient to her is my only chance of staying with her. For now, it seems I'm trapped.